vickeymalonekennedy.com Blog

not for the squeamish

Administrator — Fri, 19 Oct 2007 18:50:50 +0000

Some rules are universal: Thou shalt nots that everyone should know instinctively without constant reminders. Thou shalt not kill, steal, covet, etc.

But there are a few relationship rules that should be, but simply aren’t, obvious to some folks. These rules must be reiterated, or learned the hard way.

Rule One: Just say NO! Just because someone makes a pass -or multiple passes- at you, doesn’t mean you have to take them up on their offer. Even if you really, really want to!

Rule Two: Some men are always, always off limits!

Married men, even common-law married men, men with live in girlfriends, and any of your female friends’ current, or ex, husbands or boyfriends.

When approached by these men; slap them in the face and tell them they should be ashamed of themselves. Even if you really, really like them. Even if they are really, really hot.

Rule Three: No woman ever really wants her current, or ex, husband or boyfriend to want another woman!

Not even when she pretends she’s okay with it. Not even when she hates his guts! Especially not when she is still seeing him.

Rule Four: Never, Never cross the line.

The line is any sexual contact with any of the men that are always off limits. (See rule Two) That includes phone sex, cyber sex, hand jobs, and oral sex.

Rule Five: People that break rule two are always convinced that there are justifiable exceptions to that rule.

Rule Six: When in doubt, refer to Rule ONE!

Rule Seven: Always remember: Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned!

You could consider these rules as the seven deadly relationship sins. Because breaking them is a sin for which you will do penance in one form or another.

If this commentary offends you, perhaps it’s because you’ve broken one or more of these rules yourself. Shame on you!

unlucky in love

Administrator — Mon, 15 Oct 2007 03:44:54 +0000

If you’re unlucky in love, aren’t you supposed to be lucky in cards, or vice-versa? Hell, I got no luck in either. Which is a real bitch. I’m Irish. I should have that luck of the Irish thing going for me.

I keep falling in love with men that keep falling out of love with me, or worse they fall in love with someone else. Which sucks big time!

It’s really hard on one’s self-esteem. Makes me feel like I’m not good enough, or just not enough. I keep asking myself what I did wrong. I keep asking myself what I’ve done so horrible that I don’t deserve to be loved.

When my husband left me for another woman, I tried desperately to win him back. I cried, I begged, I fought like hell to keep him. He didn’t want me.

I never really got over it. I blamed myself. I thought if I had been a better person, a better wife, a better lover, a better housekeeper, a better anything that he wouldn’t have stopped loving me, he wouldn’t have started loving someone else.

Then I fell in love with a man that probably never loved me in spite of the fact that we’ve had two kids together. I was a much better wife to him. If I had been half as good to my previous husband he might not have left me for another woman.

The truth is, Love is fickle. There is no such thing as happily ever after. There is no love til death do us part. Divorce is too easy. Quitting is too easy. Giving up is too easy. Turning to someone else when things get tough is too easy.

You think I’m pessimistic? Well, my pessimism is justified. But it’s not pessimism. It’s truth. Ask anyone that has managed to stay married for fifty or sixty years. They will tell you that at least half the time they were unhappily married and the other half of the time they certainly didn’t always love their spouse.

So how do they make it for fifty plus years? Simple. They made a commitment and they kept it. They kept it when things went bad. They kept it when they weren’t happy. They kept it when they weren’t crazy in love with their spouse.

Didn’t I just say that kind of commitment didn’t exist anymore? It doesn’t. Fifty percent of marriages in this country end in divorce. Eighty percent of married people cheat on their spouses.

Commitment is becoming obsolete. Love is fickle. It’s hopeless.

Yet we keep hoping. We keep searching. Maybe someday I’ll even get lucky.

honesty may not always be the best policy

Administrator — Fri, 05 Oct 2007 19:41:39 +0000

When you are completely open and honest, and say exactly how you feel and what you think, someone usually gets hurt, or angry, or both. When you are honest with someone and they get hurt, angry, or both, then they will probably never forgive you.

Maybe because honesty is seldom eloquent. Honesty is usually raw, often harsh, and usually the last thing the other person wants to hear.

Does that mean we should be dishonest? No of course not. But we should always remember; The one truth about honesty is that it usually hurts.

It’s the end of the world as we know it

Administrator — Tue, 02 Oct 2007 13:07:07 +0000

Every few years the world stops spinning and I manage not to fall off. Don’t ask how, coz I don’t have a clue.

Anyway, it stopped last week and I’m clinging to the edge, by the fingernails of one hand, trying to pull myself back onto solid ground. It’s a little harder than I anticipated. But I’m tough, I can do it. Maybe.

The problem is that solid ground is shrinking.