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obnoxious

Recently I caught an episode of a book expo show with John Updike. He’s an amazingly articulate gentleman. Eloquent. Exquisite polysyllabic words flowed from him like water gushing over mountain rocks. Hyperbole intended to intimidate internet illiteracy aimed primarily at an inadequately written article by a less intelligible author.

How uncouth.

Too early to be up

There is really only one rule in my house. It’s a simple rule. Don’t wake me up for anything other than a life and death emergency. Life and death of those people actually in the house. Anything outside the house can wait until I wake up on my own.

The kids are pretty good about following the rules. The dog doesn’t even wake me up to go out. He’s a smart dog.

But that man, the one my children are still allowed to call daddy, is an ogre. He insists on waking me up on the weekends. Especially when I’ve worked all night the night before and when he knows I have to work later the same day.

My mother had a bad habit, for years, of calling me at noon every day. She knew I worked nights and slept during the day, but still she called around noon every day. When I answered the phone with a grumpy groggy voice she would always ask, “Were you sleeping? Why are you asleep? It’s the middle of the day.”

I’d grumble, “It’s the middle of the night for me. I work at night, you know.”

Finally broke my mom of calling at noon by calling her at 3:30 in the morning a couple of times. She would whine about it being the middle of the night, and I’d respond with, “but it’s the middle of the day for me. I work at night, you know.” It didn’t take her very long to get the message.

But that man. He’s a little nocturnal himself. He sits up late, sometimes all night. So it really wouldn’t bother him that much for me to call him at 3:30 in the morning. Not that I would call him anyway. But still, if that doesn’t work. What will?

I still say a taser is the answer. My friends know what I mean. Tony is cringing and Jennifer is laughing. D is still trying to find one on e-bay.

Any way, I’m awake. Which I should not be at this time of the day. And when I get woke up, especially more than once, I have trouble going back to sleep. So I’m up, I might as well work.

later,

vck

Da Vinci Code

D and I saw the Da Vinci Code today. It was excellent. Just the right combination of action, drama, mystery, even a little romance and a smidgen of comedy in a few places.

There wasn’t anything insulting or anti-religious in the movie. A lot of it is history we already knew long before the book came out. Some of it is based on myths some of us had already heard. In fact, I’m almost convinced that there is an old movie that pretty much has the exact same storyline. I seem to remember that entire opening scene from another movie. Just can’t recall the name of it. Maybe it was that William Defoe movie I was talking about earlier.

The whole idea of Jesus being married to Mary Magdalene, and them having a child, and there being a secret society organized to protect the decedents of Christ isn’t any more unreasonable than a teenage virgin being impregnated by the Holy Spirit. After all if you can accept that as a fact you’re probably more open minded than you care to admit.

Everyone knows that History is often distorted and that myths are often based on some fragment of reality.

Myth, make believe, fiction, fantasy, or reality? It’s all irrelevant. Like Tom Hanks says in the movie, “It’s about what you choose to believe.” As long as we have the choice to draw our own conclusions and make our own decisions, bring on the debates and the debatable theories.

I love a good debate. Even when I lose. 

buying online

For years I refused to make online purchases because I was worried about someone stealing my credit card info and running up extravagant charges on silly stuff like underwear.  Not that underwear is silly.  Especially at my age.  But my daughter spends more money on underwear, Victoria’s Secret, than I do on my entire wardrobe.

Any way, I avoided the online spending for so long.  Then recently I’ve become the online shopping lady.  I blame Carys Weldon.  I had to buy her books online, and of course once I read one I had to order them all. 

The next thing you know I’m ordering computer training programs online, books on Amazon.com, trinkets on ebay, and tonight I bought movie tickets at fandango.com for the 3 PM showing of The Da Vinci Code tomorrow. 

I haven’t read the book yet.  Actually, I was boycotting the book.  Hard to believe that someone that has written porn is too big a prude to read something because reviews insult my religous beliefs.  But I was refusing to read it because I’m Catholic and refuse to believe that Jesus had sexual organs muchless sex.

So why am I going to the movie?  Well, mostly because of my friend D.  She wants to see the movie.  Second, because of Tom Hanks.  Love his work.  Third, because of Ron Howard, every thing he touches seems to turn to gold.  So I’m putting my religious opinion on hold to see the movie and then I’ll make up my mind whether or not I should read the book.

After all, they will never convince me that Jesus had an affair with Mary Magdeline, or anyone else for that matter, or that he had children.  It’s not the first time such a rumor has emerged.  There was a movie a few years back with William Defoe about Jesus running off and getting married and having kids.  As I recall that movie was banned here.  I saw it a few years later on HBO or Cinemax.

Wonder why The Da Vinci Code isn’t getting banned?  I don’t approve of book banning, or movie banning.  I’m Catholic, but I’m still pro choice on everything.  Everyone has a right to make their own mistakes. 

There’s the rub isn’t it?  You can’t make informed decisions without exaiming all the information available.  So everyone should be allowed to read everything.  Even if it sucks. 

This started out as some remark on buying online and has taken a spin into a whole other area.  Back on track.  I’ve been thinking there is a great way to handle the online purchasing thing.  I don’t actually have a credit card.  It’s a debit card but you can use it like a credit card.  So the best way to deal with the online ordering is to open a seperate account just for that sort of thing. Then you only put enough money into that account to cover the online purchases you make.  You can even transfer money from one checking account to another online.  Which is really cool, and something I just started doing too.

Now I need to check out the paying bills online.  Next ordering groceries online.  I’m already doing a lot of my work online.  Eventually I might never need to leave my house except to party.

Depending on what kind of partying you’re into you can even do that online.

later,

vck

erotica pen name

I can’t imagine why I had such a hard time deciding on a pen name.  There’s a name that I’ve been using on and off in one form or another for years. 

A few years ago my mother had to get a copy of her birth certificate for something, who knows what.  Anyway, when the birth certificate arrived via mail my mother discovered that her middle name was misspelled.  Actually she discovered that the spelling on the birth certificate had always been the same and she had been misspelling her own name all her life.  My middle name came from my mother’s middle name. 

So, I took a version of my first name, and the birth certificate version of my mother’s middle and viola, a pen name was born.

It’s not exotic nor erotic, but it has meaning, to me.

My erotica author name, victoria carlon, hope you will be seeing more of it.  Also got a domain name and starter page website to go with it, www.victoriacarlon.com  there’s a little blurb there for www.extasybooks.com 

later,

vck

writer’s digest contest

Finally submitted my story to the 75th Writer’s Digest contest.  Just under the wire.  The deadline is today.  However, for those of you who haven’t already submitted something they do accept late entries for an increased entry fee.  Check out www.writersdigest.com for details.

I sent yet another edited updated version of The Guardian.  I keep entering that story in contest after contest.  It’s won a few, not even gotten an honorable mention in a few others.  My hope is that each judge will give me a little more insight on what I need to do to get the piece publish worthy.

If I enter a story in several contest, and it takes 1st in three in a row, then I figure it’s ready for a publisher.  If it doesn’t place or win I know it still needs work.  Contest are great ego boosters and seriously cheap editing services.  I strongly encourage all writers, especially new writers, to enter contest often. 

Of course if you’re making a living as a writer, and don’t have another job to help ends meet, then you probably don’t need to enter contest, and probably shouldn’t enter them either, coz that’s not fair to the rest of us.

No I’m not making a living as a writer yet.  But I’m making money at it, and more money this year than last year.  But I spend almost as much as I make on contest, and conferences.  I suppose as long as it evens out in the end that’s a good thing.

It’s passed my bed time.  My day job is a night job and I gotta work tonight.  So I’m off to bed.

Happy Birthday to dear friend Jennifer DiCamillo. 

later,

vck 

busy day

The kids and I went to the movies, then out to eat Chinese, then to Borders. We finally made it home and I called my mom to wish her happy mother’s day.

We got into an argument about my brother. I am angry with him because I think he’s taken advantage of my sister. Mom says I need to be sympathetic with him because he’s depressed. I’m sorry he’s depressed, but depression doesn’t give him the right to take advantage of people that are being generous, kind, and understanding.

Hell, I’ve been depressed since Oct. 10, 1992. And yes, I’ve probably taken advantage of a few people during that depression, but what my brother has done to my sister borders on abuse, and I’m not feeling sorry for him, I’m feeling sorry for her.

Of course I do feel sorry for him too. I know how difficult it is to be considerate of someone else when you’re drowning in your own sorrows. I know how hard it is to drag yourself out of bed every day when all you really want to do is hide under the covers. I understand loneliness, and frustration, and co-dependancy. But it still isn’t an excuse for taking advantage of someone else.

I don’t understand doing nothing about it. Go to therapy. Take Prozac. Do something.

It’s surprising that my sister let him take advantage of her for so long. It isn’t like her. I’d like to think, like my mother, that it isn’t like him.

I’m torn. He’s my brother and I love him. My mother says I should stay out of it, it’s between them, and none of my business. I want to grab him by the collar, shake some sense into him, and tell him it’s time to act like an adult and take responsibility for his own actions.

Of course, mother is right, I should stay out of it. So I’m staying away from him at the moment. Because no matter how bad things are for him, I just can’t muster up any sympathy for his behavior, and I’m afraid I would feel compelled to tell him just how angry and disappointed I am in him right now. If I thought it would help I would tell him just that, but it would probably only make matters worse.

What do you know? I’m listening to my mother. That’s gotta be a first.

Later,

vck

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Mother’s Day

Happy Mother’s Day to all mothers. 

My son told me Happy Mother’s Day this morning, but my daughter is off with friends forgeting all about dear ole mom.  Oh well, no room to complain.  I haven’t called my mom yet either.  I should I know but I just don’t want to pick up the phone.

I love my mother.  I’m just not in the mood to talk to anyone at the moment.  Don’t ask me why.  I just have those days.

Too many deadlines today, tomorrow, and next week. Too much house work that I’m probably not going to get around to doing before my daughter graduates and my house is full of people. Too many books to read as research for my next writing project. Too many things to do and too little time to do them, so I simply end up not doing any of them. 

My son wants to go to the dollar movie, I want to stay home and work.  I may take him, drop him off, go across the street to La Baguette and write for two hours.  I always seem to get more work done away from home, especially if there is an abundance of coffee and someone bringing it to me at the table.

La Baguette offers free Wi-fi.  Which is a plus, but they don’t bring the coffee to your table like I-Hop, who also offers free Wi-fi.  I really prefer Borders coffee and there are books for research, but they don’t bring coffee to the table and they don’t offer free Wi-fi, so I’m going to start looking into other bookstores that do offer the little luxeries I’m looking for.

Jennifer is off in Florida at some Romance Writer’s Conference watching good looking male models in tight brightly colored spandex swimsuits parade around all weekend.  Dion is who knows where, she’s not answering the phone.  Lisa likes to spend the weekends with her family.  What kind of sick desire is that?

I’m trying to proof read my entry in the Writer’s Digest contest and get it into the mail, or uploaded by the deadline tomorrow.

The weekend is nearly over and Monday morning is too close for comfort.  Sometimes I wish everyday could be Friday.  I never work on Friday.  So if every day were Friday, I’d never get any work done, and I’d never make any money, and I’d never become a rich, famous, successful author, and hell it’s a good thing every day isn’t Friday.

Better get back to work, and better call my mom.  Call yours too if you haven’t already.

Peace be with you,

vck

erotica

I’ve been reading a lot of Carys Weldon, and Morgan Hawke as research for my erotica writing and I realize that compared to these ladies I’m a bit of a prude.  I thought my writing was a little racey, but I’m the tortise to their hares. 

Talk about hot stuff.  Carys’ books should come with a warning, ‘read only on ice’.  Even then you may need to sit on the ice, under a cold shower, with the airconditioner on 40, to keep from getting over heated.

Got to get back to the research, as soon as I get back from the ice house.

later,

pen names

I’ve been told that if I’m going to write erotica I need a pen name, for safety sake.  But all the erotic pen names I’ve come up with have been veto’d.  My son suggested Anita Leigh.  My friend Jen’s husband has suggested things like Victoria Vulva.  Any suggestions?